Plug the Leak or Scoop the Water?

Those who read me know I like metaphors, so here’s one more: well-being as a boat. Now, this boat encounters two kinds of challenges: a sneaky leak that keeps bringing water in, and the resulting water that’s flooding the boat. I know many people, including myself, that have a strong tendency to address only one of these problems, when managing both sides can make a world of difference.

The Sneaky Leak: Unseen Ripples

Ever had that feeling of subtle negativity creeping in? It can be small, not immediately noticeable but quietly affecting everything, or it can be massive and load us with an enormous amount of weight to carry. Maybe it’s past baggage, lingering fears, or doubts that need a bit of attention, maybe it’s a contextual event or close relationship that are not working well. Ignoring these leaks can create a constant background hum of stress, and just managing the aftermath means it will never be over.

It can be vital to get to the root of our unhappiness rather than just dealing with the symptoms. Fixing those subtle leaks is like giving our mental boat a solid repair, preventing constant bailing without ever truly feeling secure.

The Overflow: Immediate Concerns

Then there’s the water that’s already on board. And sometimes, we’re so busy fixing the lead, addressing the key issues, that we forget to handle the water that’s weighting us. I am myself guilty of this a few times. Something was not going well, I “solved” it, and then walked away happily, my feet sloshing in half a meter of water that was dragging me down, and that I yet ignored. All this to be surprised a few days later when I was still feeling terrible after having addressed the issue.

Studies by Biswas-Diener highlight the importance of activities that bring joy and positive emotions. Scooping the water is critical, as is rest after an accident. When you have “fixed” a problem that was weighting you down, how are you going to take care of yourself to scoop the negativity it brought?

Finding Harmony: Balancing Act

So, how do we strike a balance? When to plug and when to scoop?

In practical terms, it’s about embracing both sides—tackling the deeper issues while enjoying activities that bring joy. This isn’t a one-size-fits-all situation, but finding your rhythm between fixing leaks and bailing water can do you a lot of good.

The most benefit can be felt for those who are hugely unbalanced on this point. Do you always have a first reflex of going through therapy, working through the problems, and yet you keep feeling down? Well, have you rested, done some sports, took some holiday, etc to give yourself a break?

Do you have a really good routine, and take care of yourself, yet negativity and stress are always flooding you, no matter how much you scoop it out? That’s probably because you have some huge leaks somewhere that are piping hardship by the bucket onto you. Can you take some time to identify them and work on them?

To keep with the metaphor, don’t forget to enjoy the sailing. At the end of the day, it’s not just about patching up or bailing out; it’s about finding that sweet spot where your boat glides smoothly through the waves of life.

Take care and have a beautiful day, Thibault_